Wednesday, August 23, 2006
11 months old....
Our sweet Kyra turns 11 months today… 11 months without her Mommy and Daddy. Hopefully this will be the last month without each other. We may not be able to hold her or comfort her yet, but she is in our thoughts, prayers and hearts constantly. I hope she can feel the love that we have for her. WE are coming baby! My best guess is we will be in China for her birthday. So my dream is we will get on our web cam and Paul and Grandparents will be on theirs, and we will have a cyber birthday party for her. Maybe even a little cake and ice cream. Who knows, I have no idea where we will even be.

My emotions are on a roller coaster ride (still). I can’t believe we are going to China and finally getting Kyra. Okay, well hopefully we will be going to China soon. But then to think that we are going to China freaks me out. How am I going to leave Paul for two weeks? I know he is in the best hands possible. But I miss him when I am at work, or when goes to bed early. How am I am going to handle two weeks without my boy. What happens if our communication techniques don’t work in China? What happens if he is so mad at us, he takes it out on his little sister. It’s not like she is going to just sit quietly and eat, sleep and poop the first several months. She will be one. she will be into his toys and everything. We have been talking to paul about being the big brother and what an awesome / cool job that is, but what happens if the novelty wears off for him?? I am worried about his adjustment to all of this. I am sure he will be fine and he tells me all the time he loves his “sissy” and we buy her things, but it is easy now, she doesn’t live here with him!! I am sure all parents go through this when they bring in a second child, right?

What happens if Kyra doesn’t bond with me and what happens if she cries and screams and we become the couple others blog home about. You know what I am talking about they always say something like this: “…there’s one poor family, their baby is just having the roughest time bonding….” Come on we have all read those blogs, what happens if that is us!

What about snakes and mice on planes?!?! Darn the movie industry and TV world for featuring crap like that. Now I am freaked out some snake is going to slither it’s way into the toilet or over head compartment, or a mouse will chew on my toes while we fly millions of miles away.

Okay are you guys getting my snowball effect my emotions are having on me?!?! I play the “what if” game and guess what I have really no control over most of it. I just need to realize that everything will be fine. We are with a group of people. Bob and I will be together and together we can do anything. Yea, that lasts me about 30 seconds, and I start to panic a bit again.

~Until Next Time~
Blogger Bryan & Carrie said...
I keep stressing out too. Someimes I really think I am not ready for this. I love my sleep so much and I won't be sleeping much once we have a baby in the house. I go through some of the same "what if's" as you. I just know she is going to love Bryan more than me. Will she even like me?? We must be normal to think this, right. I hope so. It is hard to not think about the "what if's" but I am going to try not to stress to much about it. Just remember, we are going to China and we will be home before we know it.

Love ya,

Blogger Lauren said...
I realize this is easier said than done, But,

What if she is sweeter than you could imagine.

What if she snuggles into you before you know what hit you.

What if she all goes so well with your flight you don't realize you were even flying.

What if you tried to replace the negative what if's with positive ones?

I would like to say I have tried this theory but in reading your post it just sort of hit me that we always think of the worst when things usually turn out to be so much better than we expected.

Wishing you a speedy trip date and well wishes for bonding, missing Paul, flying, and anything else that may come up.

Blogger Debbie said...
I love the idea of the cyber birthday party. It sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate.
I hope your emotions are today.