First I would like to sincerely thank everyone that asks about how things are going in China and have we heard anything yet. I am overwhelmed by the support and love that we are given by family, friends and coworkers. The update this week, quite frankly SUCKS! (and trust me that was sugar coated). Referrals will be out early next week (if not this weekend). Now mind you cut off for referrals last month was May 25th. This months cut off: MAY 30th! Yup that is right it has taken the CCAA an entire month to give 5 days worth of referrals out. I feel horrible for those with a LID of May 31st, which FTIA has several. All we keep hearing is that there are not enough "paper ready" children. I am starting to wonder what the heck does that mean. All in all it will take four months to complete one month of LID'S. If this trend stays true, we will get our referral, oh about July, August or probably September, and that is being extremly optimistic. Which means, the shopping spree I went on a few weeks back.... I am taking back to the store for a refund. Just reminds me why I didn't shop (much) before I got Paul's referral.

IF I am moody or distant please don't take offense. And, if you can, ask how are you? Or ask about the weather, instead of when is your referral coming or do you know anything yet?? Ask anything,but when?? I would GREATLY appreciate it: because I don't know when the referral is coming, I am tired of guessing, and I would just be wrong anyways! Please know I don't mean to be nasty or anything, just honest and extremely frustrated.
> I am trying my hardest to be positive. For instance, I think to myself: that just gives me that much more time to lose weight before we go... too bad I am eating donuts like there is no tomorrow and I am looking forward to gorging myself with chocolate. Not to mention I can't wait for "girls" night tomorrow night. Ladies,don't mind me if I cry in my glass of wine. But to be honest my positive sunny disposition has gone right out the door. I am finding very little to be happy about our wait. I know it is out of our agency's hands, it is out of our hands, it is all in China's hands. But darn it, if it doesn't make life nearly impossible to plan for. It is funny in our adoption studies one question asked is "how would you handle unexpected delays?" Well, I am sure I wrote some kind of fluffy answer I thought they would like to hear like: I would just roll with the punches, Yah, NOT. I hate having absolutely no control what-so-ever over the situation. you just sit there blindly waiting for any glimmer of hope that maybe next time you will finally get to see your baby. Maybe just maybe it will be our turn to be blessed and our agency will say those four little words we have be so longing for: "we have your referral." The truth of the matter is: My heart and soul aches because my baby is somewhere out there in an Orphanage not getting the love and affection that I would give her. She should be home with us, where we can love her and give her the undivided attention she deserves. Baby Kyra, mommy loves you and says prayers for you every day that God watches over you. I know he does, and he will keep you safe. I can't wait to hold you and kiss your sweet face. It is absolutely amazing how much love I have for a child that is just a dream. A dream that some day......... will be a reality. The million dollar question is: WHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time~

Ah, it is the second day of spring, after a mild winter... you would anticipate a warm day, right? WRONG!! It is cold and snowy of course. And do you know why it is cold and snowy? Well that is because starting at 5:00 A.M. today, my neighbor and I stood in line to get our darling little children signed up for Early Learning School. We got their a little before 5:00A.M. and we were number 6 and 7 in line. There were Father's that had been there since 3:00 A.M. Ah yes, the wonderful first come, first served theory. Yes it is a very good and fair way to do things, but did I mention it was only 28 degrees (not including wind chill) and it started to snow around 6: 30ish. Did I also mention for about every 1 woman that stood out in the below freezing snowy weather, there were 2-3 men. YES, that is right, the men totally outnumbered us women to sign their little darlings up for school. Of course I forgot my camera so I couldn't get a picture of it. We really should count our blessings though, it was supposed to start snowing last night and it didn't, and they opened the doors a little after 7:00 so we could stand in the inside of the building. Registration did not officially start till 8:30 A.M. but they started about 8:15 A.M. All in all it was a successful morning. Paul is in the afternoon early learning class and I am finally warming up. Thankfully I had my wonderful neighbor with me, or the time would have gone much slower than it did. Now the only problem is: we have to have Paul potty trained by the first day of class... NO PRESSURE THERE! Any suggestions are much appreciated. Until next time ~

That's right! Paul is taking a soccer class! It is an instructional class at the Y teaching 2 1/2 and 3 year olds the basics of soccer. Too bad I don't know the first thing about soccer. I did get out of the class from the instructor "THE BALL STAYS ON THE GROUND!" Paul did wonderfully. He does a great job kicking the ball across the room. He has a ton more coordination then his mommy. His buddy Josh is in the class with him so that made it extra fun. The best part is we went out to breakfast after the class. This soccer thing isn't soo bad afterall.
Aside from Paul taking his class, I decided WW (affectionately called FAT CAMP) was not enough for me any longer. So, this past week I started water aerobics. I only have one question: am I supposed to hurt three days later???? I could barely walk for the next two days after class!!! It will be good for me. I need to exericise if I ever think I am going to walk any of the Great Wall of China. On that home front, No news... referrals should be coming soon. We just pray that we get half way through June. We did go to dinner with some FTIA travel buddies tonight. As always it was a lot of fun. Bob and Paul had "good fortunes" in their cookies. Bob's said: "The Coming Month shall bring winds of change in your life." Paul's said: "good things are coming to you in due course of time." Mine: well it said something like I enjoy night life. Well that is true... and we are having a girls night next week. So maybe the other two will come true as well!!!
Well, tonight is short, sweet and to the point. have a wonderful night. And sweet dreams of referrals in the mail!

Until next time... Happy Birthday DAD! (well last week, anyway)

Paul became insistant today that he wanted to go to the Ocean. He keeps on asking if Grandpa will take him to the ocean soon. (Grandma and Grandpa went with us last year). I told him that we will try to go to the ocean after we bring home his sister. (thinking I could buy myself some time, and not thinking that a 2 1/2 year old has concept of time!) So now he keeps on asking if Daddy and Mommy can go to China this weekend and pick up his sissy. then follows it up, can we go to the ocean next week? Paul has a great memory.... and like I said, I wasn't thinking, so now all he is focused on is going to the ocean! I plan on taking Paul to the pool as much as possible this summer. He absolutely loved swimming lessons and loves the water. Maybe when my partents go to Myrtle Beach later next month, I can sneak Paul into their suitcase and he can enjoy the ocean with them. ha haa. I do hope to take the children on a vacation this summer or early fall... but it will all depend on when we get to go to China, and if Bob will have any time left after our trip. ARGH!! I think we are all getting summer fever. The weather hasn't been cold and snowy this winter, but it has been dreary. All paul wants to do is go out and play.

Just wanted to wish Leah Happy Birthday again (today is her actual Birthday) and also wanted to wish Josh Happy 3rd Birthday. He is Paul's buddy! AH yes, and CONGRATULATIONS SARA she just passed her LISW exam!! now she can go for the BIG BUCKS!

till next time watch what you say to your kids, they will hold you to it!

I love that China is 12 hours ahead of us.... their website changed while we slept:

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before July 31, 2005."

Which means as soon as June applications are matched with babies July will be matched! One more step done!!! Our dossier had no problems! Sigh of relief!

1. Leah and her Daddy 2. Leah, Caleb and Paul 3. Leah and her new friend Georgia 4. the kids at the party

Today marks 8 months of waiting for baby Kyra. Not to mention the 5 months of paperwork we had to do prior to our wait! Our agency has now moved the wait time to 9-10 months. So we are HOPING for a referral by May. But at this time I don’t even want to speculate. The CCAA hasn’t even gotten through the month of May yet for referrals. Our paperwork is currently in the review room and then it goes to the matching room. Referrals did just come out last week. SO we are very happy for those families, and we do have lots of online buddies that are getting very close to their referral date so we are getting excited for them. A year ago we thought for certain we would be home from China by spring. Now I just hope we get to travel before fall. I have to admit the longer this whole process takes the more depressed I get. I try very hard not to, but I can’t seem to help it. I just want our daughter home with us… I used to think she was born last July. Now I have no idea. I hate not knowing her birthday, what she looks like, if she ate well today, did she sleep well today? Did someone give her an extra hug? I know her caregivers are taking care of her but not like I would. I just want her home!! Before I get myself all down again, onto more exciting news!
My brother, Rob, and his children Caleb and Leah came down this weekend. It is the weekend before Leah’s 6th birthday. So we had a bit of birthday celebration for her. On Saturday we started the afternoon by going to Chucky Cheese. The kids had a wonderful time. And I think an adult or two enjoyed playing skeet ball!
After Chucky Cheese we went home for a much needed nap, and to get ready for the surprise birthday party for Leah. We had our neighbors over, my parents, my Cousin Sean, his wife Pam and Rob and the kids. Leah was very surprised. She kept on saying but my birthday isn’t till next week. But she didn’t seem to mind having two parties. She also made a new friend with Georgia. Georgia and Leah had a great time playing tea party and singing with Leah’s new Karaoke machine!
Aside from a very busy weekend, Paul continues to do well in swimming lessons. Last week he got to lead the group in jumping off the wall! And more excitingly Bob was the one that took him in for swimming lessons~ another first!
~ until next time…..